Health update

So here's the deal about my health. I don't talk about it a lot, because frankly, even as someone who is on a platform like Twitter, I'm a very private person. I don't like to discuss what ails me in large part because of that, but also because I try not to think about it. When I chat with friends and chat with people on social media, I go on there to have fun and forget about the stresses of day to day life. But a lot of people ask me, so I figured I'd give this one detailed update.

As some of you already know, I have Crohn's Disease. It would take too long to go into detail about it, most already know basic details of the illness, but essentially it's chronic inflammation of the intestines, that leads to a bevy of other issues in the body. If untreated it can be a devastating illness. It can be treated using a wide array of medications and procedures, but the moderate or severe cases or usually treated with biologics(biological medications). You probably see them advertised on TV all the time... the likes of Humira, Remicade, Cimzia, etc. The problem is, the body doesn't always take to these medications. And sometimes it does, but later on the medications just stop working or you can develop an allergic reaction and have to be taken off of the medication and moved to another. My Crohn's was under control for a while... until it wasn't. I started getting severe stomach pains in November, as well as excessive vomiting; a symptom I've never had before. Vomiting obviously means insufficient nutrients from your food and weight loss, which is a problem for a Crohn's patient, who already has trouble getting nutrients, as the intestines don't absorb nutrients from food like a normal person and it's hard to put on weight.

My inflammation is spreading, and my doctors haven't been able to adequately control it. I have a rare case in that I'm prone to inflammation systemically. I have random eczema outbreaks on top of the Crohn's, and the inflammation has now spread to my eyes. In 2014-2015 I had eye issues that flared up, but went away and went dormant until 2018 when they have returned again. My eyes itch, tear, and throb constantly. I've seen 3 different eye doctors in the last month. All highly regarded. I had two appointments in April already and it isn't even April 10th. The only medication that keeps the inflammation under control are strong steroidal drops. However, using them over extended periods of time is detrimental to the eye and can cause glaucoma and cataracts. The other problem: inflammation also causes cataracts. I'm not even 35 and I have cataracts in my eyes already. I'm going to have to get surgery at some point to remove them. The bigger problem is that there has been no other way to stop this inflammation through visiting 3 separate doctors, so this is going to be a recurring problem. The doctors are stumped across the board. They've never seen a patient with such persistent inflammation as I have. I believe it was Jerry Seinfeld who had a bit in one of his acts where he talks about how you never want to be a patient where you go see a doctor and he's like "Holy shit, I've never seen that before." It's hilarious, because it's fucking true. I'm one of those patients now, at least I can appreciate the humor in it. In extensive discussions with my doctors, we've come up with theories on what might be causing it all this inflammation, and still have some more things to try, but so far nothing has worked and the options are dwindling.

My body, that used to have issues strictly with my large intestine, now has issues with almost my entire GI tract, eyes, and skin. All inflammatory in nature. I have seen about 10 different doctors of all specialties since the turn of the new year. GI doctors, primary care, Ophthalmologists, Allergists, Rheumatologists, Dermatologists, you name it. It's incredibly exhausting, and because of insurance networks(don't get me started), some are not short travel distances. Surgeries are going to be on the horizon, which leads me to my next concern.

The first thing doctors prescribe after any type of operation is usually an antibiotic. I can't take antibiotics unless it's absolutely necessary, close to a life/death situation. In 2010 I suffered a bad bout of C. Diff(Clostridium Difficile). It's a very serious bacteria that is usually caused by the use of antibiotics. A lot of people don't know that your gut has good bacteria in it as well. Sometimes when you use antibiotics, it kills off the good bacteria, and that allows the bad guys like C. Diff to take over. It's very bad, and untreated it can be fatal. For people with Crohn's or other forms of IBD it can be fatal very quickly. I almost died from it in 2010. I was incredibly ill and needed to be rushed to the hospital to be put on very strong antibiotics. I dropped to under 130 lbs. And I'm 6'0 tall. It was the sickest I have ever been in my entire life. I honestly thought I was going to die. The problem is, anyone who has had C. Diff is prone to a relapse. Any use of antibiotics can bring it back out again. My doctors always try to keep me off of it whenever they can, which makes surgeries incredibly stressful. Not only do I need to worry about the operation itself, but the aftermath. Either don't use antibiotics and risk infection or use them and risk C. Diff and frankly, death.

You can read about C.Diff here: https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/baddest-bug-c-diff-hits-half-million-americans-n312731

That is exactly what happened to me in 2016. I had to get two surgeries that year because of inflammatory related issues. I had a very bad infection in my intestines. I opted to go the no antibiotic route and hoped the removal of the infection surgically would suffice. It didn't. It returned and almost caused me to miss my sister's wedding. I went there in indescribable pain, it almost ruined the entire thing for me. Eventually, I had to get another surgery. Thankfully the infection didn't return again after the second.

So, the next step is figuring out what is causing the inflammation to so rapidly spread through my body. Is there an underlying issue? Is my immune system just fucked? Is it something unique no doctor has found yet? Did extreme stress(a top cause of inflammation) push it over the edge and it has been unable to be reined back in yet? 2015 and 2018 were very emotionally trying years for me for reasons I won't get into now. Those were trying years that did a number on me in terms of stress, being that stress is a significant culprit of inflammation in the human body, which is very harmful to someone like me who already deals with inflammation. It's like pouring gasoline on a fire. People in my life who care about me know this and try their best to not cause me strife, though luckily I don't get stressed easily. Coincidentally(or maybe not), the last time I had complications and surgery was 2016, and here I am in 2019 in an even worse position. Each followed difficult, stress-filled years for me. I'd be surprised if it wasn't a significant factor, whether or not it's the overlying cause remains to be seen.

For now, more tests on the horizon. Cross your fingers that eventually we can find a root cause of this damn inflammation so I can finally get some fucking rest. It has been many many weeks of appointments, tests, lack of sleep, and I feel like I could collapse onto my bed and sleep for a week. No rest for the weary, however, back to it later this week and next week(and again in early May lol). Hey, at least on the bright side is since almost all of it is internal, I don't look sick on the outside, so I don't get all the lame pity and sympathy when out and about. :D

Appreciate all the support, as always. <3